Past Continous!

For the first time in nearly a year, I stood in the room where I had spent my earliest days. My old little wooded bedroom. It felt so strange and so spooky as if it was just yesterday i had been here.

If it’s true that we leave a part of ourselves, in every place we ever spent our lives in then imagine the ghosts that might dwell in the space where I spent my childhood? Look! - There’s me, getting up in the morning all sulky and bleary-eyed, making excuses for not going to school, reading about Nancy Drew's huge crush on Ned, post-its' gooey marks on the wall - their own lil 'forget me nots', stickers lining my mirrior doing their best to hold onto the past, my favourite books in a neat little row on the bookshelf just yonder and my brothers barging in on my birthday every year, until now!

I hadn’t been to my place in over 6 months and I hadn’t even thought about it, but when I stood in it today, it felt as if nothing had changed, which seemed wierd and sentimental as I know, for everything has changed.

Kkrap Syndrome

The other evening, my brother; who if rumours are to be believed works with an events company, and me just happened to catch one of the K-Serials and man did we squirm in our sofas... MAN Don't they have those censor boards for TV serials... keeping a check on what gets showed on T.V.

These Kkrap serials portray a senseless world where you just know for certain that the other
person is either a bitch or a superbitch. Loud and gaudy make-up, light contact lenses, half a ton of costume jewellery, a wicked expression and is found screaming at the top of her voice! .Oh! and not to forget they have connections to the under of the underworlds!
Everybody in the K-world is either completely good or hopelessly bad. There's the scapegoat; oh did i just mention the heroine and everybody nice to her is good and everybody who's not is just plain evil. Black and white. A world so cleanly divided you can almost see a thick painted line running down it.

Their lives are so warped that i think the main reason that our so called liberated women watch these serials, is because it gives them a kind of dim hope. She thinks - so I’m struggling to keep the house in order, am paying off 300 bills a months, have a kid starting engineering college and an indifferent yet significant husband, but at least my evil sister is not trying to mastermind a murder plan, My husband doesnt have a second wife stashed away in some faraway world... And atleast I know who my parents are....Thank god for that!

26th July - Lest we forget

26th July! Mother nature ripped through Mumbai and left lives shattered. Those cries of loss, hopelessness and chaos still echo all around me. Floating bodies, Dead Cattle strangulated in their attempt to run away from shelter, Abandoned life - Images that will stay with me forever. Marooned in office, stranded somewhere in between and Millions of people trying to find a way (me and a dear friend being one of them) - Right from wading through murky water to halting an outstation train midway to climb aboard just to get that one step closer to home

I lie silently with my eyes wide open thinking of places and the people i came across who for no reason helped me.... whom i wouldn't have met if not for this night. Memories linger - That one call to Pa to tell him I'm allrite just minutes before the network went kaput to the warmth of the soup to keep my hands warm given by an unknown friend, to the frantic call of the cow that mooed all nite.

Strangely enough it made me fight DRENCHED, SOILED AND BATTERED. Likewise Mumbai moved on... But has it really? Though the common man might already have wiped off the memory... There are hundereds of families who still wake up with tears in their eyes, go through their daily wanderings with a dull ache coursing through them.

Mumbai... Today Take a moment to remember those who died and those who survived. Those who helped and those who made sure Mumbai moved on. Our greatest failing will be to forget.

Bollywood Love Affair

A friend of mine who’s in the UK inspired me to put this post up… He came across this story on one of his many travels and I just thought of giving it my own interpretation. Don’t know if I do justice to it but nevertheless here goes….

If you thought Bollywood was only about Shilpa Shetty in the UK then you’ve got it wrong. Long before Shilpa Shetty the small town of Southampton (UK) was bedazzled by all things Bollywood. With Europeans having acquired a seemingly insatiable appetite for Indian culture in all its forms be it art culture or the films, it seems that it cannot get enough of the vibrant colours, passion, glamour and energy of India.

One would think it would be our very own Indian Janta spreading the spice and flavors, but surprisingly that is not the case. Mr Afghan (no names and I Kinda like the sound of Mr Afghan) Afghan has a different story to tell. 5 years ago, Mr Afghan came to the UK, leaving behind him memories of a war torn country. Not the one to give up, He has been having a 5 year long love affair with Bollywood. Today, he boasts of the best collection of Bollywood films and music in Southampton.” His quaint little shop is a definitive anthology of all Bollywood music right from the evergreen classics to the current foot tapping fusion and you might just find locals dancing along with Shah Rukh Khan or Aishwarya Rai doing their Bollywood routine!.

The local Indians and all Bollywood lovers alike swear by Mr Afghan’s collection and come from all across Southampton to get their dose of Bollywood Films and music! –As they say Cinema has no language…and no barriers. It merely blurs the shadow lines that separate countries through the arts of expression be it music or films.

So, if you are ever in this part of the world make sure (take me along!) you visit Mr Afghan because his love for Bollywood and the music in its own special way will make you feel at home far-away from home.

P.S. am trying to source some pictures of Mr. Afghan or his shop to put up... But until then, its only words that I have for you.

Until Next time!

One precious hour was all I had, and is all that I have to remember him by until the next time...

I know I'm going away
How I wish....wish it weren't so
Take this time to be with me
Let's delay our misery

Save tonight
Come tomorrow

'Cause girl you know I've got to go
Lord I wish it wasn't so

I don't realise the distance when he isn't here, but when he is and then leaves, it hits me and it's unbearable.... but theres always until next time!

A Room with a View

I sat here one evening and looked out my room window and this is what I saw.



Darkness! Beckoning! as if to say- "Let me set you free!" for it gives me hope and it keeps me waiting ... in want to see if there’s a real me. Light filters and covers me with its mask, leaving me to my small little world, a world that makes me see that it’s for me to set myself free...

Woman - Get a Life!

One of my morning's post was quite a sad one so i went ahead and deleted it. Even I, while reading it, was thinking to myself, "Man, someone get this woman a life. And quickly." The low self esteem corner is already quite overbooked. Even the violins aren't playing the right tune.

I never wanted to be a copywriter. For one, I've never believed I was creative. For who in their right mind would want to spend 15 hours in an office with a bunch of people who have toys lining their desks. :-) But I slipped on logical reasoning and landed in a job in which really, I have no business being. I can't write a headline or a tagline or transliterate in Hindi. I get my Hindi bits checked by 3 ppl and all their looks say just one simple thing - "Isko writer kisne banaya" :-)

Ok! So let's pretend that I'm retiring and there are five things about me that somewhere an old hag is paying big money to know about.

1. I always read the back of the book before I read it. It's nice to know whether my time will be worth it in the end and I don't do sad endings.
   
   
2. I often feel that I'm in the wrong profession and for a fact I have absolutely no idea what the right profession actually is.
   
   
3. I'm a chronic approval seeker. So if you tell me you love me, I think I'm pretty much perfect. :-)
   
   
4. This post is getting boring. and My leg just broke off (just checking if I've lost you as yet.)
   
   
5. Am wondering if you'll ever comeback and visit my blog...

All my writings and musings sound and look like novels. Well that aint so bad is it? because thats what eventually I want to do. Atleast somethings are turning out for the good, right?

Are you Listening Now?

I picked Listening Now by Anjana Appachana from a bookstore with just the thought of discovering Indian literature by reading more and more Indian authors after a brief introduction to Amitav Ghosh's Shadow Lines in one of my Literature lectures during college. Nobody had recommended her or prepared me and was I stunned!

Listening Now for me is the most intricately and beautifully written book. You cannot put this book down. It is a journey through the psychological terrain of five women, who tell us their way of looking at the world. You begin to see their pain and at some point their pain became my own. I could see my mother's and aunts' lives unfold as i was reading: Arranged marriage, initial passion, indifferent husband, rapid disillusionment and lots lots more.

I have read alot of books which are much better in plot and characterisation but the narrative stlye of Listening Now is what captures me the most. One incident seen by 5 different women in 5 different ways and 5 different conclusions!

So many events and emotions are bottled up. And believe me when i say that the pleasure is going to be totally yours and the effort (if you want to call it that) totally worthwhile.

Weekend Wanderings

Managed to catch the new Harry Potter movie last weekend. It was pretty good - Though most of whom i saw it with didnt think the same which I thought was pretty interesting - What was it they expected? The same kid flying brooms, learning to cast spells and playing Quidditch and trying to outdo kids his age?

Though havent read the book, the movie was a visual treat on the big screen inspiring me to go sky diving just to get a feel of how it is to actually be suspended in air. It's the first time I've seen one of the Harry Potter movies and said to myself "I really want to read the book" which, given my gut feel, will be especially impressive.

Daniel Radcliffe as Harry Potter is becoming increasingly impressive and hopefully won't end up getting typecast as the cute and adorable Harry Potter for the rest of his career owing to his act in The Order of the Phoneix. Also, it's really impressive and intelligent how the characters in the movie have developed (though Ron was a bit of a let down), given that most of the actors are portraying the age they actually are.

Frankly If you didnt like the Order of the Phoneix and are not excited about the final Harry Potter movie, Guys you're really missing out. Harry Potter needs to Grow Up people and so do we!

A doodle---of sorts

A few assorted thoughts on a Tuesday evening and In case you're wondering, this blog which had been my online home since first venturing into the blogosphere some time in early 2005, got taken over and squatted by some idiot. Unfortunately, in my subsequent efforts to get back my original posts, all of the old content got munged. Frankly, it's just too much of a brainache to try to figure out if i could rewrite it. So do Drop by this new place and see what's happening!. The new blog really is much, much more interesting. Really.

Month and weeks since I've written in here as I haven't known what to write. I kept waiting for something interesting to happen as thats what blogs used to be to me but Just for the record, let me say that I was wrong..

I once drew a sketch without any plan and I had fun drawing it and now it stands on my pin up board at work and am proud of it. This is a doodle---of sorts. So i am going to treat this 'mindset' of mine a slate for me to doodle in and have fun.

It's here that i will try and book my life. My life - just another blog with all the other blogs out there. It's more a place for me to talk about the things that I love, a place where i put my life into words and try making sense of it... So instead of trying to post up quickly, I'll give myself some time to see how my impressions grow but that said, every once in a while, I'm just too excited to wait and today is one of those times - the reason for so many posts in one single day. Phew quite an orfer nevertheless fun!

It's going to be bizarre seeing my writings and realising that they won't belong to me anymore and everyone can peek into. And hopefully now at long, long last, i can move along and think that these are just words, just, just words... But it hasn't been easy letting go of them. U Bet!

Googling it up!

You hate it.... You love it but you still use it!
Google rules our life. I have started using "Gyan ki Duniya" (as i lovingly call Google) with an increasing frequency. I have Google search on my desktop. I have Google in my favourites. It's here, it's there, it's everywhere.

I have the inclination to use the big G on occasions when I shouldn't normally do. Wish I could store most things on email and could Google search when required. I wouldn't have to rely on memory any more. I just have to look it up! I guess the only thing is that I have to remember it is stored there in the first place... Secondly Google Earth with its Mapping means that if I am lost I no longer have to ask anyone for help - I just google the address and walk the streets.

I now use it for everything. If I hear a name or a certain thing in a conversation or through work and I want to find out more, I Google the name to see what I can find out. Does it make to the first page ranks? Does it have a site of its own? is it really worth it? Does it even affect my life to the least?

The downside is I am leaving my tracks all over and very soon the evil G monster will take over the world and haunt me with my search strings. I can see it now - being convicted for Google searching "The Actor Himesh Reshammiya" in July 2007.

Oh, and if you want to find out how my "foot" is doing, just Google and look for the results! :-)

Another day, Another XRAY

I have been off since a long time now. Learning to do alot of things in life. Getting back to a 'working' routine after about a year. Always thought would be a piece of cake but guess what dont have any time for myself anymore.... No time for blogging whilst in the grind as a result my previous blog seemed to have vanished in thin air, but have now planned to change all that. Plenty of time on my rear end since falling over and almost breaking my legs. Plenty of time sitting at home today waiting for my reports to come in so thought Why not get back in here.

Another day, another XRAY. It's not the first time I have had one of these tests, but with the panic attacks i get when am in there...it is probably surprising that they have never wanted to look at my head. :-) This time it was my foot - apparently I might have some alien-like hairline fracture for all they know - someday soon I will be an entry in the X-Files with the amount of "X" rays and tests i have got done the last few years. Not much has changed about the X-RAY experience since my last visit. The noise the machine makes is still like some sort of machine-gun fight - only less dangerous.

Fortunately, I survived the ordeal in one piece. At the end of the process they plan to give me a nice CD not jazz or rock or pop- but pictures the machine produces as it slices through the layers of my foot to get to my bones. (didnt know XRAY could be on CD) -I will probably play it on the TV the next time I have guests for dinner or put it up as my screensaver at office... it should make a good conversation piece. What say?